Understandings...

   If you are reading this I truly appreciate you.  I know a lot of what I write is on the sadder aspects of life.  But I created this blog to get these feelings out so that they don't plague me in my waking life and drive me insane. I don't want to be misunderstood here.  I am so grateful to be here and to be able to write these words.  A lot has been sacrificed for me to continue my existence and I will never forget that.  But I can't forget the suffering.  It's not a negative thing, suffering helps us learn.  We get to figure out how strong we can truly be.  Experience the miracle of breath, the miracle of feelings, the miracle of pain, the miracle of tears, 'the gift of guilt'.  I can't hide from my truth, but I learn through suffering, and pain.  It is a part of me, it's a part of all of us, but don't try to escape from it.  I don't know if any of this makes sense to the reader, but expressing this helps me.  I don't want to drag anyone down with what I write, but it makes me feel a little better when I see that people have visited BURNTHEMESSENGER.com, and maybe someone out there reading this feels like I do.  I know there's so many of you who hurt like me, worse than me, I just want you all to know I am with you.  We all are on this sinking ship together and the only way to survive is to help each other.  That's what I want to do, is help in any way I can, and so far the best way for me to accomplish anything is to continue writing, and I will do so as long as my heart beats.

Honored

My soul endures the torment of a repressive existence,
I feel the others within me,
Struggle to make sense of the new darkness that consumes their sight,
This is not where you were meant to be,
You were your own being,
You were a light in so many worlds,
Falling from the heavens and smashing to earth,
Fragmented and scattered about in the wind,
Scorching the land and all you surround,
Handed your fire to me and housed in my chest,
To reignite the conflagration within a broken shell,
You are home with me,
Never intended but determined to adapt,
Fill the desolation with the noise of new life,
Brought back from death,
I regret the accommodations are slight,
I was never one to share all that I am,
But now,  this is us,
As one, we walk through eternity,
Sharing each step of new life together.

 You are me.

-This is dedicated to Chris, whose life saved my own,
  As well as the others trapped within me.  

Dilusional

On the descent of a being of brokenness,
Blind to all that presents truth,
Above his majestic creations, earth, sun, vast unending glory,
Damned to the empty shell of self,
The others, they thrive while they collect hides and heads,
Trophies of their time,
All the while ignorant to the beauty of the end,
The overwhelming infinity of god's lament,
Grandeur is the scheme for man can only rule his ground,
To venture aside, watch life in it's instant,
And stumble upon the profound,
This is what it means to exist,
Not your gluttonous desire,
For all things are emptiness,
If the wheel of the system will never cease,
Forever trapped in our lives,
No sign of release,
External, the vessel, temporary,
Fragile to house the eternal soul,
We all can see through you and the lies that you hold,
Unending the cycle.