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Saturday, March 17, 2018

Selfish



 I am a broken man.

My bones are ash beneath your vice
These eyes are blind in a world so vividly bright
I thought I had tried so hard to move through this life
but the blood that pumped this stolen heart
has withered and dried

  How can I still be alive?
  What more do I have to give? 
Tourniquets strangle this delicate flesh
Needles that tear my veins
Tubes intubate, feeding me, breathing me, 
drugging me, steadily killing me

   Death is my thrill, I've endured so many times
   Come with me and see what it really means
   to be truly unconsciously free

How this body survives is a mystery
Escaping the light is my mastery
I constantly wander through the beyond
I am the rightful king of autoscopy 

   Such intensity as I watch myself bleed
   There is no more care, no relief, just release
   from all this pain, my shame, this world, belief

Watching the seconds slowly count to infinity
Time endlessly floating and slipping away
He comes for me again, I see
I gratefully embrace the grip of calignosity 
My only friend surreptitiously in black
Before me to reap my dreams and memories

     Finally, arms to embrace me, to take me
     away from my lost love...of you
 Alone on my bed of bones
    Close my eyes, and with my gracious smile, now I can die.  



 
 

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